I visit a lot of blogs.
Some of the bloggers cuss and curse and drop F-bombs in each post. I shrug when I read them because naughty words don’t offend me very much. They are just words. Not particularly creative words. I wonder if their Christmas letter describes the effin’ loss the soccer team endured in the quarterfinals, due to the effin’ coach’s Camaro breaking down on the effin’ highway on the way to the game. Everyone got an effin’ trophy, though! And effin’ Aunt Sadie took another effin’ trip to effin’ Jamaica and of course she had those effin’ tourist braids when she got home. An effin’ 75-year-old should effin’ know better.
Most people are socially savvy enough to know when a stream of obcenities isn’t appropriate in daily life. Some? Not so much.
But I’ve noticed there is a dirty word lurking on the internet and in real life. So dirty, in fact, that even people who curse and cuss like Naomi Campbell won’t say it. That word is judge.
Judging is the worst thing you can do.
People who have never cracked open a Bible suddenly turn into Vicar Knowitall and trot out “Judge not, lest you be judged” when they are under the weight of another’s scrutiny. I find it ironic when a person who would normally consider the Bible to be a good doorstop or maybe even a passible book of mythology suddenly invokes its authority when it is convenient. But I digress.
Do not judge. It’s short, memorable, and easily emblazoned on 100% white cotton t-shirts from Cafe Press.
I won’t wear one, though.
I am a judgmental witch.
I saw a roaming bunch of elementary school kids smoking. Something is wrong with that. Seriously wrong.
I saw a 4-year-old drinking a baby bottle with Coke in it. Not cool. Mom/dad/aunt/babysitter who allowed that: you are insane.
I saw a third grade girl dressed like a prostitute at Halloween. I saw a mom dressed like a prostitute/leopard kitty at the Kindergarten Halloween party. I questioned that decision.
Some geniuses buy beer for teenagers and serve it in their homes. “They’ll do it anyway…” they are fond of saying. Well, to the serial killer lurking in the woods: I know you are going to murder me anyway, so may I sharpen your axe for you? I’ll leave the door unlocked so you don’t hurt yourself while trying to break in. I hate to think of you cutting your hand on the glass. How may I further assist you in your law-flaunting?
What is so wrong about being judgmental?
I am not talking about judging a woman for bottlefeeding or breastfeeding. That is silly. I’ve done it too and fully recognize how much energy I’ve wasted worrying about that baby over there drinking from a bottle or that mom hiding in her car to breastfeed. I should simply be glad, in this day and age, that they are actually feeding their babies. I’m thankful we live in a country of prosperity where moms have a choice. Many places in the world there still is no choice.
But too many people take the non-judgmental “it’s all good, bro” attitude too far. Sometimes you must take a stand, put on the black robe, and pound the gavel.
Judge that.
Dear Judge Judy –
Good post. You should have a chair on the View. Please don’t judge me for watching the View. I change the channel when they get too annoying.
Anonymouse’s last blog post..en-title-ment
Amen.
Heather’s last blog post..Confessions of a Homeschool Mama
Preach it, sistah.
That’s some good stuff.
Heth’s last blog post..The 2007 Halloween Report
I’m standing on my chair, applauding and catcalling and saying WOO HOO GRETCHEN!! PREACH IT SISTAH!! and it’s very hard to type at the same time as all that.
In other words, I completely agree with you.
Jenni’s last blog post..help?.me?.
I’m with you.
Though I wish I could shout, “You’re wrong!” for the irony.
Veronica Mitchell’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Love it. ‘Specially the part about using the Bible as a doorstop until a Proverb is needed.
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Oh yeah! There’s some preaching going on right here! Amen!
But you differentiate between things which should be judged (i.e. kids smoking) and things which should be personal choice (i.e. bottle v breast). That’s where a lot of people trip up. They get judgmental with what should be personal opinions, and then get mad at others who hold, for example, different religious views.
Not that I’m judging them, mind! 😉
Ok, maybe just a little bit!
edj’s last blog post..Our House, in the Middle of Our Street
Yup. We live in a relativist society where there are no longer any moral absolutes – if it’s okay for you, then it’s okay and anyone who disagrees (judges) is hateful and intolerant. It is frightening.
Antique Mommy’s last blog post..Otherwise Occupied
I curse too much AND I judge! 😉
Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..It *was* aliens after all!
Well said! We are getting down to the moral compass which gives so many the heebee-jeebies these days. Wisdom prohibits things that destroy life, health and relationships, and is future oriented. We are supposed to ‘judge rightly!’
This is truly one of the best posts I have read lately. Amen, Amen, Amen!! I also hate that some of the people say you need to be tolerant of everything the loudest are often some of the least tolerant people I know.
Jill’s last blog post..Works For Me Wednesday- Help for My Raccoons
great post! you gave me something to think about.
chickadee’s last blog post..Christmas is going to be so easy this year
This post makes me think of kids…and how I seem to see more and more of them being disrespectful toward adults.
I had an incident not too long ago when I was watching my kindergarten son’s flag football game. I was watching the game and it was driving me nuts that the boys waiting to go in were horsing around, wrestling, not paying attention to the coach on the sideline. So I walked to the other side of the field and tried to settle the boys down. One of the kids was really rude to me, and I didn’t do anything. I just sort of stood there and tried to ignore him. I didn’t have the guts to tell him that he was being disrespectful. I was afraid that if I told him he was being rude, his parents would be angry with me, thinking I was judging them. It reminds me of the “it’s all good, bro” idea that you were talking about. I didn’t feel like it was “all good,” but I felt like I didn’t know if I had the right to reprimand someone else’s kid, especially since the parents were there possiblly watching but weren’t right there (the mom was on the other side of the field and the dad was on the field officiating the game).
Is it the right thing to do, to confront kids when they are being naughty, if the parents are near but possibly unaware of their child’s behavior? It seems to me that it’s the right thing to do. That’s not being judgemental of the parents, is it? Does all that make sense? It’s pretty early in the a.m. here, maybe I’m just rambling…
Ann’s last blog post..Bearing the Shame
Tell it, sister!! This is a thoughtful, well-put post, as I’ve become used to finding on your blog. Thanks for taking the time to share.
Sharon
Thank you thank you thank you. You took the words right out of my mouth. Although they sound much better coming from yours…:) You are absolutely right! Amen and amen.
I have a hard time reading any blog that swears. The words screech in my brain, flash upon my eyes like an annoying strobe light I can’t get away from. I get a headache. I am offended. It is an assault. Why would I want to be a partaker?
The judging thing I’m used to. As you said so eloquently, the bible verse gets flung from the coarsest antichrist. Almost makes me want to fling back. Oh wait, I do.
Amen!!!!
Hi, Mopsey.
I defined a distinction between judging and evaluating for myself: To judge is to make a moral decision; to evaluate is to determine the value of something.
Judgment as a moral decision determines what is superior and inferior; what is good and what is bad; what deserves to exist and what does not. Moralizing about others is something I’m reluctant to undertake. I do not, however, quote the Christian Bible to make my case.
It’s a question of what is of value and what is not. Because I don’t value something does not mean I condemn it, it’s just not something I want or support.
I agree that children shouldn’t smoke — nobody should smoke, it’s bad for them and the people that sell tobacco are greedy criminals, especially for what they now knowingly do to increase nicotine’s addictive strength. I’d vote to ban tobacco. But then what will they ban of mine? I prohibited to eat cake because of national obesity and medical insurance premiums and the diabetes pandemic?
Children should not be sucking Coca Cola from baby bottles but should I say the same of you? You wrote an entry praising cane-sugar coke over corn syrup coke. Me? I think that stuff has become bad for you – it’s in most of what you eat, if it’s processed or packaged. My opinion about cane-sugar consumption is based on reading and listening and watching: Processed food is not a normal part of the human diet. It’s okay in moderation but there doesn’t seem to be much moderation.
We’re left with a choice of whether we educate or enforce. Have laws against selling minors tobacco stopped minors from getting tobacco? No. Will stronger enforcement stop minors from getting tobacco? No.
Educating others takes patience and work and kindness. It’s so much easier to make a law. Laws are backed by violence. If you violate a law, an armed person with a badge of license comes to you and forces you to go with them to a court where you are punished, which is done with the threat of violence. (Have you noticed how much tasering is going on?)
Yes, Mopsey, I’m on your side about this. It’s hard to see people harming themselves. It’s hard to see ignorance, despair, and self-defeat. So, if you want to see a better world, what will you do to educate with kindness?
PS: I’ll tell you the secret I learned about cigarettes: They allay anxiety. Light a cigarette and you have a friend. Why do some people feel enough anxiety to take a drug to make themselves feel better?
I guess something I notice about most blogs is the tendancy to set up “straw people” and then judge “them” for whatever it is the blogger disagrees with. Not only does it make for bland writing, but it smacks of self-satisfaction (I’m good because I don’t do what “OTHERS” do). Obviously everyone makes a million judgments and choices every day. On the other hand, we all have to make judgments and choices and do so every day. I agree take a stand. I do not give my kids coke, I too wondered about the mom in the sexy firefighter outfit at my daughter’s preschool party. But overall my judgments tend to be less about childrearing, because it seems so incredibly personal, and more about how on Earth someone could think the war in Iraq is helping, there isn’t global warming, etc.
Although I don’t like to read or hear people cursing, I love the rest of your post!
As I read this, I found myself wanting to shout, “Amen! Preach it!”
Terri’s last blog post..A Hobbit at Heart
It used to be called “common sense”. Not much of that left nowadays.
Great post, Mops. Blog on!
I’ve quit reading blogs that regularly use the f word. I just don’t need that in my life.
And hooray for your judging comments~! I couldn’t agree more – judging the world around us is part of the job.
JustRandi’s last blog post..Green Week Here on the Blog
Okay, that has got to be the greatest post I’ve read in a long while! Thanks for sharing and I totally agree!
Way to go! We’ll robe up together. :>) Great post.
Melanie’s last blog post..Comment of the Week #8
i loved this! i think we could be really good friends! found this on rocksinmydryer….very true.
i heard a conversation once about being careful how you speak (not curse words, but content…ya know you don’t want to offend anyone with your ideas) the other lady’s response: some people need to be offended! love it.
thanks for this thought, i’ll have to stop by here more to read.
I found this post via Shannon at rocks in my dryer and I’m glad I did. Great reading and thought provoking. There is this whole idea that it should all be live and let live and mostly I agree or try to. However, I find myself less tolerant of some peoples life choices as I get older but at the same time unless I witness something like violence – where I have indeed stepped in on one occasion – I tend to keep my own council in this small town, often having a rant about it at home!
Barbara’s last blog post..Remembrance
Good post! My pastor always says that “Judge not lest you be judged” is not a commandment – it is a warning. You just have to be sure that with the same judgement you pass on another person you can handle it when it comes back around.
One of my friends recently commented on this subject. He said we live in a society where “I’m OK, You’re OK,” but in reality, “I’m not OK, you’re not OK, and we both need HIM to be OK.”
Jeni’s last blog post..5 for Friday
Amen and amen! Didn’t you just want to rip that Coke-laden bottle out of that poor preschooler’s hands?
Chelsea’s last blog post..Culture Shock
Amen. Thanks for being judgemental when wrong is wrong.
Tara’s last blog post..Contest winners
THANK YOU!! LOVE IT!!!
Preach it, sistah! (I’m here from Shannon’s.)
RIGHT ON!
Mary@notbefore7’s last blog post..The Power of Words
That “judgemental” word and “tolerance”…the BUZZ (barf!) words…in other words if I disagree with you, I get to throw out those words, quote the Bible, and dismiss everything you say…oh yeah, and not feel guilty about anything too right?
I wrote a post about those two words and didn’t publish it because I couldn’t say what I wanted the right way.
You just did.
Thank you!
PS. One of the best things we can teach our children is to have GOOD judgement and to NOT tolerate certain things, right? I love those words!
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