Yesterday was a busy writing day. That means I didn’t read very much. Maybe that’s why I’m dwelling on one of the few blog posts I read? It was one of those typical posts an Experienced Mom writes to a New Mom where Experienced Mom tells New Mom to not sweat the small stuff, like crumbs. Then, I began writing a post, in my head. I called it A More Experienced Mom Gives Advice to an Experienced Mom Giving Advice to a New Mom.
No, no, no, take those crumbs seriously!
Not potty-trained by age 2? Guess what’s under that wedding gown?
Fingerprints on the wall are not charming.
For all that is good and pure, don’t buy the chocolate syrup.
Yes, the minivan is lame. Everyone is staring at you while you drive it.
Your stretch marks aren’t tiger stripes. They’re broken bands of protein.
The debate between canned and frozen green beans isn’t going to solve itself. Stay up at night worrying about it.
Screens. Everyone in your entire family looks at them far too much.
So, please sweat the small stuff. You need practice. Keep those pores open because by the time you have teenagers, a veritable Hoover Dam of sweat will strain your capacity. It needs an outlet—keep that angst flowing, lady. Don’t get the chocolate syrup because a decade later, it’s still chocolate syrup, only they add it to a half-gallon of milk and drink it in under 5 minutes. Without the chocolate syrup? It takes them at least 7 minutes.
Sweating Ollie's cup positioning, as it will lead to a lifetime of spilled drinks and dehydration.
