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Routine Leaves a Message on My Voicemail

I thought you’d pick up the phone? It’s been months. Anyway, uh, I guess I have a few things to say to you.

First, I miss you! Remember when we used to make your bed together? I thought that new coverlet thing and the weird pillow you found at Goodwill would spice things up between us. Yeah, the pillow tips over. Who cares? Then, your husband read something in a magazine about how it’s actually healthier to leave beds unmade because sunlight and air kills microscopic creepers? Can I be frank with you? It’s just a handy excuse. I will be over to make your bed with you tomorrow.

Second, school started a week and a half ago. You used to run into my arms on the first day and wrestle me to the ground. Oh, how we got things done! The meals, planned. Laundry in beauteous bouncy piles! Pretty desserts! Playground rotations with the little ones! You seem to still be stuck in summer a bit. Hey, I can’t get completely mad. Technically, there is still a month of summer. Sunshine and hot weather don’t make you want to think about all those mittens in the basement that need to be sorted, or fall clothes, or driving to Goodwill with bags to donate. Hey, while you’re there, check out the throw pillows.

You can’t stay away from me much longer. Already, you are driving the same route multiple times a day, passing the same fences, trees, ceramic birdbaths, speed traps, potholes, the Starbucks drive thru. I’m your backseat driver. I’m in the rearview mirror dancing along to the music.

I get that you’ll want to dropkick me to Brazil around mid-April. That’s cool. I need a break from you, too.

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Anyway, call me back. Better yet, I’m just going to show up. You’ll be so glad I did.

How Our Big Family: Serves Meals

There are 11 of us with teeth. That means I need to feed these 11 mouths at least three times a day, plus snacks and treats. My renditions of bland spaghetti, random casseroles, ambitious soups, and tough meats are foisted on my mostly-understanding family.

Mealtimes with this many people to feed could be complicated if we tried to do it small family style. When I was a kid, our family of five passed around bowls and platters of food, dishing it onto plates by ourselves. I could put 13 green beans on my plate, making them look like more by artfully spreading them about my mom’s flowered Corelle.

Until recently, our dining table was actually two tables shoved together. The same thing happens in restaurants. Everywhere we go, people must shove multiple tables together for us. If I started my blog today, I might call it Tableshovernut. Even with two tables shoved together, it was still a tight squeeze. It forced us to adapt. My kids do not know the joys of passing the mashed potatoes to a brother. Also, we do not have footmen to serve us because I am not the Dowager Countess, although I aspire to be just like her someday.

We have a single, longer table now, but have kept many of our serving philosophies.

BREAKFAST: This is the most chaotic meal of the day, especially during school-year weekdays. Kids tumble into the kitchen on their own. If you’re old enough to go to school, you are old enough to pour yourself a heaping bowl of cereal or make waffles in the toaster oven. They make oatmeal in the microwave, too. Once they hit age 10-ish, they are allowed to cook eggs if they have time. I’ve never been one of those moms who cooks a full-on massive breakfast every day. That’s a Saturday or Sunday (or dinner!) thing.

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LUNCH: During school breaks and summer vacation, lunch is something try to plan carefully. The crazy-casual breakfast vibe grows up into planned sit-down meal with assigned lunch helpers. At the beginning of the week, I assign jobs to the older kids. They are either Lunch Helpers or Lunch Cleaners. The Lunch Helpers assist with all aspects of food prep and serving. I usually have 2 or 3 helpers, depending on how much needs to be done. They adore being Lunch Helpers. If you are not a Lunch Helper, you get to clean up. They rotate and I make sure to change up pairings.

When the big kids are at school, they make their sack lunches the night before and store them in the refrigerator. This has helped mornings run more smoothly. That leaves the little ones and I at home during the day. We eat like toddlers and preschoolers whenever we are hungry. I cut off crusts and mop up at least one spill per day.

DINNER: I try to plan out meals at least a week in advance, keeping an eye on the calendar for busy nights like most families. Those nights require the crockpot or something light and easy. My husband loves to cook, so he prepares several dinners a week. When everything’s done, we begin scooping onto plates, starting with Ollie, going in order of age from little to big. I started it this way so by the time I got to the adult plates, the little ones’ food would be cooled down enough to eat. We stand at the stove and counter and pass plates to the table, where, ideally, everyone is sitting with their drinks already poured. One kid gets that job every night—usually someone who can be counted on to not spill. If they want seconds, they get up and serve themselves but must ask who else anticipates wanting seconds so they keep themselves in check.

Before we eat, we say a prayer. Usually, the kids rotate through this, too, although Teddy insists on praying every night. After thanking God for Thomas the Tank engine, we thank him for our food. Also, we prayed for Ollie when he had an illness recently. Now, at every meal, Teddy prays for Ollie to “feel better soon” even thought Ollie (knocking on wood like a deranged woodpecker) is currently enjoying good health. Coincidence? You be the judge!

SNACKS AND DESSERT: I have always tell the kids they can have all the fruit and veggies they want. They have free reign, but I appreciate being asked first in case I had plans for those strawberries or that bunch of rapidly decaying bananas. Consequently, all of them eats fruits and veggies every day and I don’t have to force it. We have crackers in the house occasionally, but then I realized a box of graham crackers lasted about 17 minutes. Sometimes, I’ll stock up on Babybels or string cheese, but sometimes cheese is problematic. Plus, they always put cheeses on their school lunch sandwiches so calcium isn’t an issue.

Desserts are not an every night thing. Sometimes, we will stove-pop some popcorn in coconut oil or scoop ice cream. If I’m bored during an afternoon, i might bake cookies or cupcakes and that ends up being dessert.

Keeping mealtimes running smoothly and sanely is something I still work on and adjust.

Fifth grade is the friendliest grade, and other first day lessons

First day of school photos are non-negotiable. They will happen, come zit or cowlick, come mismatched oddball fashion choice, come whatever. I’m don’t rush out and buy first day of school outfits because my choices end up being even more corny than how they kids already dress half the time, so they wear whatever strikes them and I’m cool with that.

Yesterday was the first day of school for most of the school-aged kids. They were happy and as-per tradition, I make them endure certain poses and expressions. Like, they have to hold up what grade they are about to rock. When Joel held up one hand denoting his status as a 5th grader, we laughed. “It just looks like I’m waving!” Yep. He looks like a friendly lad, maybe flagging down passersby to sell them newspapers or shine their shoes.

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3rd-grader Beatrix was pretty happy to get back to school yesterday, especially since over the summer they installed new playground equipment. She’s the Queen of the Monkey Bars and plans to continue her reign. I am amazed by how much she’s changed since last year, when she had baby teeth. Now, she has those adorable giant teeth she will grow into eventually. I encourage her to smile as much as possible because I find the giant chompers of mid-elementary school kids to be the best thing ever.

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With the older kids, I always ask them to contemplate the mysteries of the universe. Tommy, the 7th grader, delivered. I imagined he was thinking of light being both a wave and particle, but he was not. He said he was thinking about thinking about of the mysteries of the universe.

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Last, but not least, was Archie. There is no way to signal, through fingers, that one is in kindergarten unless you attempt to form the letter “K” with fingers or go full-on Alphabet Dancer and lay out on the grass, forming the slightly underrated 11th letter of the alphabet. He was happy, a little nervous, but mostly impatient with my photo shoot by the end.

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Of course, we had to get some group shots in:

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God bless their teachers! And like that, we were off for another year of learning.