Me Gretchen and me no sleep.
Wakin’ in middle of night make me mad. An sad, too. Eyes get open and don’t close again for hours. I look at clock. It have red letters. Oh wait, dey might me numbers? I don’t know. Outside it so dark and da bugs are LOUD and I hate dem. I think about window. I can close, but I get out of bed to do that. No close window with awesome power of mind. An if I get out of bed, must put peeps in da potty. No flush. Wake others. Then all hopeless and fertile. Or feudal? Futile? Me have no idea.
Get up cause bed as restful and nice and smart as big bag of dirty diapers. Don’t want to be in it nudder minute or day. Go downstairs. Stupid stair squeaks might wake kids. Hope not. Don’t need company now. Just want relax! Why no relax?
Turn on computer. Know it will be boring. Internet boring. Or maybe I find sad, sad story and cry. Always happen. Then worry, a lot. What if I have brain tumor in elbow too? Could happen. Been sore lately. Okay. Internet really dumb now.
TV help? Push button wif remote. What on? Didn’t know could buy toys for grownups at 2am. That kind of gross to call stranger and say send me dat, here credit card number and address. Fresh Prince Bel Air on too. Again. Dat Will Smiff talented guy, even when haircut look like wedge of cheese. Go kitchen, get some cheese. Come back. Maybe watch videos on MTV. Weep for youth. Maybe watch videos on VH-1 Classic? Weep for lost youth. Dose days were when I no need sleep. Ha! I took for granted.
Now I disgusted, but little tired. Get drink water. Check locks on doors. Still locked. Turn off light. Go back upstairs. Eyes not used to dark. Kick toe into bed, of course. It only been dere for three years, not enuff time for clue? So I get back in my bed an pull covers up over shoulder. Still worry. Brain still thinkin of everything possible in universe, all at once.
Suddenly, feel baby kick hand. First time. It so good. I realize what been bugging me, really. I say prayer.
Asleep.
Wake up, not able to think. Get up anyway cause dog outside barkin and kids loud downstairs. Thoughts still fuzzy. Will be long day, but happy day.
Maybe sleep tonight?
Oh, Gretchen! This had me laughing so hard and then choking back tears. So funny! So sweet! And, very relatable.
Thank you for sharing your gift of words. Even when they are all jumbled up from lack of sleep. 🙂
I hope you get some rest tonight. Maybe tomorrow you can form full sentences. I know that must have been a sweet moment, though.
Cyndi’s last blog post..To Do List for the Week of Aug 17
I remember those days of not wanting to make a squeak or a rustle lest I wake children! Hope you get a catch-up nap today. How sweet to feel that first kick!
Barbara H.’s last blog post..Good reads
You me call each udder some night at 3am. Or morning at 3am. Dun’t madder. I prolly be ‘wake too. 😉
Stacey @ Happy Are We’s last blog post..Reading, Not Blogging
here i sit, reading blogs instead of taking a nap…my, my, my you sound like me!
i LOVE this!
p.s. NO SAD BABY OR PREGNANCY STORIES WHILE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scott tells me if I get pregnant again we are disconnecting the internet and I have to take up knitting. 😉
Rach’s last blog post..a kink in my day
This is precious. I’m sorry you’re not sleeping so well, but I love how you wrote this. My favorite part was, “Suddenly, feel baby kick hand. First time. It so good. I realize what been bugging me, really. I say prayer.” I also love how you said it will be a long day but a happy day.
Keep kicking, baby! Kick kick kick!
Ann’s last blog post..Fun in the Sun!
I daresay you will – sounds like you found the trouble and you’ll be sleeping soundly soon.
But I love the stream of consciousness that leads you from Will SMith’s hair to getting some cheese in the kitchen:)
Beth – total mom haircut’s last blog post..Award Graveyard and Bloggy Question #3 – Are you more/less present?
Cheese cravings from Will Smith. Crack me up.
Sending you some sheep to count.
Heth’s last blog post..Adventureland
Funniest post I’ve read in a long while. Thanks for the chuckles.
Clayjack’s last blog post..Dad’s Delicious Treats
I woke up one night last week and I couldn’t sleep and I saw the very same commercial for “adult toys made out of real glass” Oh my goodness.
I decided to watch I Love Lucy.
I couldn’t believe that was on tv! Hope you are sleeping better!
Happy Mommy’s last blog post..How was your weekend
Cracking me up, Gretchen, especially with the stubbed toe. Sorry! Just BTDT…
So glad you felt baby. What a sweet thrill. And I surely hope you get some good rest soon.
Jenni’s last blog post..The Mat Doesn’t Taste Very Good
You made me laugh so hard that I almost wet my leather couch.
It was a great feeling as I had been blue all day after sending my three kids back to school.
Thanks for cheering me up and I’ll keep checking your blogs for more good laughs.
Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy.
There’s nothing sweeter than feeling a baby move for the first time. 😉
Ah, hope you get some sleep soon.
Joanne’s last blog post..Democratic National Convention