You speak with thunder and lightning,
Your voice shakes the mountains,
The foundations of the earth.
All I can offer is this fragile breath,
With each one I’ll praise You,
With each one I’ll praise You more~Todd Agnew, This Fragile Breath
2:37 am sounds like the kind of time it would be for something like this to happen. I don’t know the exact time because it didn’t really matter. Beatrix was awake, again, and I was miles beyond frustrated.
“Mommy, sing songs to me? Mommy, sing songs?” Her voice piped through the dark.
For months, she’s had trouble sleeping through the night. The only thing that seemed to lull her to sleep was my voice, singing Silent Night. I couldn’t keep it up much longer, knowing our baby was due soon. What would she do when I was going to be gone for several nights? How would she react when I had to get up with the baby and couldn’t help her? Why did I start this singing business in the first place? I should have known better.
I entered her room seething and resentful.
“Go to sleep!” I demanded.
“Mommy sing?”
I didn’t answer. I stood near the door feeling overwhelmed by worry and bitterness toward my little girl for keeping me up—again. She asked several more times until I decided that maybe the radio would be an acceptable stand-in for me. I simply wanted to fall asleep. I had an appointment with my OB for an ultrasound and NST first thing in the morning.
I pushed the button on her little boom box in the corner. It was tuned to K-Love. The moment I pushed the button, this verse was read by the DJ:
The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.~Psalm 103:13 NLT
Gulp. Convicted. Tenderness and compassion were not on my mind.
I went back to her bedside and knelt down. I told her I was sorry and I patted her back. I did not have to sing. Todd Agnew did it for me. Immediately after the verse was read, the song began.
This Fragile Breath has always been one of my favorite CCM songs. It reaches the place in my core where I store awe. The pairing of tenderness and compassion with a God whose voice shakes the foundations of the earth? Too much for me at that moment. I felt my little guy inside and watched my sweet girl’s eyes droop.
I knew I was about to experience something much larger than myself.
I didn’t know I needed a lullaby, too.
Can’t wait to read part 2 and part 3 and part 874.
Anonymouse’s last blog post..love
Gretchen,
First, congrats on Archie! What a sweet boy and a scary start. I am so sorry that I wasn’t praying for you and your family. We’ve been travelling and off line. I would have loved praying for y’all. I will pray now! I am so glad he is okay. And I can’t wait to read more about it.
Don’t forget to rest!
Kristin’s last blog post..Staycation
so sweet. this post was so nice to read. Thanks!
Courtney from Mommie Blogs’s last blog post..me, oh my…
can’t wait to hear his storyl
chickadee’s last blog post..Weekend updates from the baby
So often I forget that my responsibility as a mother is to reflect the parenting I receive from Him. It is easy for me to be selfish and short-tempered. I am so thankful for daily reminders (like this one) to stay in the Word.
Minnesotamom’s last blog post..Mom! I got a Text!
Oh, Gretchen! I had been meaning to post when you got home… SO happy for you! I am in the throes of early pregnancy and wanting to vomit lots, so not much time on the computer. I am so proud of you! And sniff his little head for me!
Rach’s last blog post..heck if i know
I just have to ditto Minnesotamom’s post. Your post was just what I needed to hear today! Blessings!
homeskoolmommy’s last blog post..It’s a…
Wow, Gretchen. I didn’t know you’d have me in tears this morning either. That is one thing I’ve always loved about Christian radio. It seems that just when needed, the right song, verse, word comes through-very distinctly speaking to me.
How blessed we are.
Joanne’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
beautiful…
What a precious moment Gretchen.
Heth’s last blog post..Let’s Meme!
BTW: I linked to you today 🙂
homeskoolmommy’s last blog post..Too busy receiving to give
Anticipating the rest greatly…
Jenni’s last blog post..Oink, Oink
Ditto Anonymouse. I eagerly await every part of this story.
Megan@SortaCrunchy’s last blog post..May I Show You How I Groove?
Beautiful!
Amy @ Hope Is the Word’s last blog post..Children’s Classics by Patricia M. St. John
He is BEAUTIFUL. Thanks you so much for sharing your life with us. You are an inspiration with your transparency in lifes ups and downs. I ADORE you!!!
K-Love. I used to listen to that station when we lived in Knoxville. Bringing back memories…
Yea, God, for speaking to us right when we need to hear it!!
Amy’s last blog post..Chocolate Strawberry Soap
He’s really beautiful and both blessed and bless-ed.
nutmeg’s last blog post..cold water
I remember those nights with the baby, wondering what I would do if one of the other kids woke up. I decided that we would all just snuggle on the couch together. And that’s what we did.
I love that song, too. And I love how God worked right then and there, through the radio and through little Beatrix. Precious.
Ann’s last blog post..Strollin? Down Memory Lane
So I’m forcing myself to go back to all the blogs I’ve bookmarked and comment on them before I plow into the new stuff in my reader. And boy, it’s hard not to look pronto for part two of this story. It’s as beautiful as Archie.
Kelly @ Love Well’s last blog post..7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 3)
I think this is one of the best posts I have ever read. Thanks, Gretchen, for putting in such simple eloquence. He is faithful to strengthen in weakness!
Emily’s last blog post..Silly Old Bear