Fashion Disaster

Yesterday I went clothes shopping, which is finally enjoyable now that all that my baby-weight X 5 is gone. I wanted a new pair of jeans and anything else I picked up would be a fun bonus.

The seven of us headed to Belmar, a new outdoorsy-concept mall, where a New York & Co is located. I had a coupon for 30% off my entire purchase, so I was giddy. Lee and the kids stayed outside so that I could shop like a normal person who isn’t yelling “Sammy, stop lifting the mannequin’s skirt!”

I found a pair of jeans that fit well. But they had a dowdiness to them that didn’t fit my “cool mommy” image (ha!). So I looked at the displays of several different styles of jeans and the giant posters of models wearing the jeans–they all looked like they were having a carefree blast and I wanted that too. So I chose the “Downtown Flare Stretch” jeans that features a “flared leg, slimmer fit through hip and thigh, and contoured waist”. I did not try them on.

This morning, the time came to face the day and I thought hey, I will wear my new cool-mommy jeans. I put them on and they felt okay. A little different than any other pants I own. Sorta low, but I figured it would be okay as long as I chose my shirt wisely. I went on with the routine, getting kids ready for school. I did notice, though, that I was battling the urge to constantly hike them up and I began to question my Downtown jeans. Did my jeans have my best interests at heart? Would they betray me? Only time would tell…

I decided to ask my one and only girl (age 7) for her opinion–“Hey Aidan, do you like my new jeans?” She looked me up and down and said, “well…they go all the way down to your shoes…”

Soon it was time to herd the kids to the minivan. Thankfully the bigger kids can handle their booster seats and seatbelts. But Tommy (age 2.5) sits in the back row, center, of the minivan and I have to strap him in. As I hoisted myself into the van and bent over to buckle him, I felt the crisp breeze of a golden October morning caressing extreme lower back…my extreme “lower back”…

But I had to plow ahead and be brave–very, very brave and remember to remain fully upright at all times. It made the preschool drop-off hug awkward and stiff, and it made the trip to the grocery store a nightmare. I need to start buying better brands–national brands that can afford placing their products on the mid to upper level shelves. Getting the Kroger-brand Snoopy fruit snacks from the bottom shelf was better than any yoga class. Putting the groceries and the little guys back in their carseats bordered on the obscene.

Yet here I sit, still wearing my Downtown jeans. Feeling “cool” in more ways than one. It is amazing how many goosebumps pop up on the extreme lower back…