To: The chocolate cake chute also known as “mother”
From: The baby riding around inside you
I’ve noticed how distracted you’ve been lately. I’ve also noticed how very much chocolate cake you sent my way this past week. I can only surmise it has something to do with “Aidan” and her “birthday” which was five days ago (my best estimate, since that is when the deluge of chocolate began in earnest).
Honestly, I can’t wait to meet her. She sounds like a delight—except for the deplorable state of her bedroom which you seem to be unduly worried about. You want it CLEAN before I make my appearance, but really, it’s okay. I won’t judge her for keeping 18 balled-up and browned socks under her bed. I won’t be chewing on those for months. I know how proud you are of Aidan. To you, she seems like a girl suspended between childhood and adolescence. “Nine” seems so far away to me. She’ll be eighteen when I am nine. Whoa, I just felt a surge of cortisol and strange urge to either fight or flee. And your heart is pounding! Normally I like it, but not when it sounds like a freight train hauling ACME brand tornado pellets during a thunderstorm. I won’t bring up sibling math again. Sorry!
Thanks for the cake. I have to admit I am ready for a break, however. Send down some corn on the cob! And guacamole!
Love,
The baby
~~~~~
To: The baby
From: Your embarrassed mother
I have good news and bad news. If you are anything like me, you will want the bad news first.
The cake-a-lanche will continue for several more days. It means more sleepless time for you and more internal bruising for me (you are strong!). The chocolate cake is gone, but will be replaced with a white cake this evening. I wish you could see it. Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker battling amidst icing flames. Six sparkler candles. The occasion?
That’s the good news! It is your brother Sam’s sixth birthday today!
He’s one cool dude. Whip-smart and quirky. Huge elephant fan. He has a calendar he bought with Christmas money—National Geographic images of elephants. On the little square set aside for July 13th, 2006, he stuck a sticker. It says “God’s Special Helper” and I believe it. He hopes you are a boy named Gordon, but if you are a girl he will adore you just the same.
I have to compliment your perceptive observation regarding how distracted I’ve been. You are right. Between waiting for you and birthdays galore, I have been distracted. There is so much to do. After midnight tonight, there is another birthday furiously approaching on the horizon.
Yours.
Love,
Your mommy
Sooooo….I take it you don’t know Baby’s gender yet?
Fun Post. Oh, and the shoe up top? i HATE it when they get that way!!
Mary, mom to many
I’m emerging from my unintentional blog-lurk status to say that I really loved this post.
Now, back to that rock I’ve been hiding under…
Happy Birthday to Sam! Today is also my Chris’s 6th birthday and 2 years ago I was due with my Lizzy who will be 2 next week. October happens to be my birthday month, what is your excuse ; )
I wish you well in your last stretch. Enjoy that ball! I also recently purchased a big blue ball at Target but it is too big for fitness as it turns out but the kids love it and Daddy likes bowling for children.
Your writing should be published! Perhaps when you have more time and are not busy bouncing and unrolling brown socks. Sorry to be so out of touch. This past year went by so fast!
Oh such a great piece. Love love love “The chocolate cake chute also known as “mother— Happy birthday to everyone!
Oh that was fun to read. Does brother like the name Gordon because it is on your “list” or maybe it is after the famous #4 blue engine?
Wow, you’ve had lots of summer birthdays- meaning summer births. How do you do it? I was pregnant with Sam for the first week of May. It was hot for about 4 days and I went berserck.
Love this post. The more I learn about your Sam the more I love him. And Aiden must be a wonderful big sister. Now slow down that heart, eat some cake, and get ready to rumble.
Shannon—we still don’t know the baby’s gender! I haven’t had any more ultrasounds since the “big one” in May.
Happy Birthday to all! Enjoy your cake, Miss Mopsy!
BTW–Have you gone to see Body Worlds yet? I think your kids may be a bit young for it but you and your hubby may like it. Very interesting stuff! I thought that I would be kind of grossed out by it, but all the bodies look very plastic so it was OK for me. My daughter, the biology buff, loved it!
Randi–we haven’t been to Body Worlds yet, and it is leaving next weekend. I’m glad to know you enjoyed it and found it educational and worthwhile. I’ve had my doubts about it. It’s nice to get the perspective of someone whose opinion I respect. Thanks for the review!
I loved this post. I am amazed that you have time to have these chats with your baby with all you do. And I love the cake discription. I want the Star Wars cake for my birthday.
The “cake-a-lanche”…I love it! Happy Birthday to Aidan and Sam.
What a sweet post!
I love that last bit. Yours. 🙂
Awww. I am so thrilled with this not knowing the gender thing you are doing. So innovative and unique you are. So exciting! When it is born everyone will be . . . surprised! I wonder if I could be brave enough to do that?
🙂 Love this
Fantastic!!! That baby math is a bit scary. I can’t wait to find out what the baby is!! You make me laugh all the time!!!
this is a hilarious post…your blog is very funny. Congrats on the new baby. Just thought I would compliment your clever post.