Candies for Babies

Tommy stayed home from school today. He has some sort of odd rash, most likely brought on by unfortunate timing. I ran out of our usual sensitive skin dryer sheets and switched to an old box from the back of the shelf. This time of year, we have to use dryer sheets because the dry Colorado air creates killer static cling. Like, when you pry your laundry out of the dryer and separate socks from jeans, they crackle and hiss. The emergency dryer sheets smell prissy, like a wreath woven from the gossamer hair of a rose petal-adorned fairy. In June. Under a full moon. While singing a tune. I can’t think of anything itchier, unless she is riding a white green-eyed kitten.

Tommy woke this morning complaining of itching legs and feet and a killer headache. When I looked, I saw little hives and marks where he had obviously scratched. I gave him antihistamines and watched him scratch scratch scratch. He probably could have gone to school, but he was conking out and I didn’t want the rash to spread and alarm anyone. Plus, I’m not positive it’s the fault of the fairy kitten rodeo clothing I generated during the last few days.

He spent today crashed out on the couch watching “Mythbusters” on Netflix. He was watching the episode where they test the notion it’s easy to take candy from a baby. Teddy was in the periphery, half-watching when he noticed babies on screen. Teddy adores babies. He began to watch as Jamie and Adam gave candy to babies, then pulled the candy away (all the time measuring resistance). “Mommy! Look!” he pointed.

I looked and then looked back at him. His bottom lip was trembling and his eyes were filling with tears. I asked if he was sad about the guys taking candy from the baby on screen.

“Yes. It’s mean!”

Yet his mission in life is separating Ollie from his pacifier. Ollie is still fond of his coo-coo (our family name for pacifier). We are fine with him having it until around age 2, then it will go bye-bye. But Teddy has decided, on some random authority, Ollie shouldn’t use a coo-coo. He takes it, he hides it, and he seems to enjoy it. If we can’t find one, we have learned to ask Teddy. I believe this is born of jealousy. About the time Ollie was born, Teddy was being weaned off his coo-coo. A long standing resentment might have built.

“It’s mean!” we chide when Ollie howls, unplugged. We take his trains and cars to no avail. Teddy is on a mission to rid Ollie of coo-coos. He was surprisingly empathetic to random babies losing candy on TV, but unmoved by his own brother’s protesting tears.

I guess the answer is to get Ollie hooked on super-size Milky Way candy bars.

Wait. Did you think this was going to be one of those MommyBlog posts with a Grand Lesson in Life and Love?

It’s Friday.

Teddy, Chief of the Coo Coo Police