Scene: Typical state university dorm room of 2022—poster of Kermit the Frog, lava lamp, mini stainless steel fridge, UN flag round out the decor. A group of freshman students lounge on the beds and floor. They pass around an Xtreme Red Bull Brand Pomegranate and Ultraviolet Baby Leaf Tea Wine Cooler with DHA and ARA and a candy cigarette. We join the conversation in media res.
Blayden: Steve or Joe?
Emmayden: Joe! Mr. Noodle or Mr. Noodle’s brother, Mr. Noodle?
Poppy: Totally Mr. Noodle. Did you hear Mr. Noodle died when his head exploded after eating too many pieces of popcorn chicken? It’s too bad they had to stop making them.
Joel: Yeah. When I was like four-years-old that was all I ate.
Cecilia: Me too!
Joel: I think my mom probably wrote about it on her blog. Like everything else.
Hannah-Savannah: Tell me about it. My mom had like five blogs.
Joel: My mom had one, then three, then one again, then two. I bet there are still blogs out there she has hasn’t updated in fifteen years.
Savannah-Montana: Did she have a digital camera?
Joel: Of course. By the time my baby sister, Beatrix, was born we probably had over 10,000 pictures on our computer. My mom loved her camera. I remember one afternoon, about 15 years ago, when she took like thirty pictures of a piece of cake from all different angles. I asked her why she was taking pictures of cake. She mumbled something about how she could bake something pretty, put it on a pretty plate, and put it on her pretty blog. What a Bushhead!
Zippy Boy: My mom used my pseudonym on her blog so much, she forgot my actual name.
the group sighs in unison
Joel: Well, my mom used my actual name. Please don’t GoogleHoo it! I’m never going to get a date. Or a job. I was almost kidnapped by a group of rogue clowns when she wrote a disparaging post about them. Hey, pass that cigarette. I hope the RA doesn’t smell the sugar from under the door.
Poppy: I gotta go. I haven’t checked my stats in over ten minutes.
Savannah-Montana: Me too.
The students rise and exit. Joel remains. A phone rings. Joel takes a small phone out of his pocket.
Joel: Oh, hi mom. (pause) I love you too.
Well now hey! When did you have three blogs??
Hilarious scenario; I would have been cracking up at the names, but they were too terrifyingly believable!
Jenni’s last blog post..Numbers
Ha! This is hilarious!
Suzanne Temple’s last blog post..What I Have to Say
I am CRACKING UP here. Oh my. Bushhead. Gretchen you are the best.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearing’s last blog post..The Elizabeth
ROFL! Although this was a little bit scarily prophetic, maybe?
edj’s last blog post..Favorites
*LOL*
This is so funny and sounds like me with my digital camera, except, I only have 1 blog…which is hard enough to keep up with. My daughter is Steph from adventures in babywearing…..
LOL I love it! Names, dialogue, everything!
BTW, I baked a pumpkin cake and 6 loaves of pumpkin bread yesterday and took pics of them, too! Unfortunately I don’t have a digital camera, so I won’t be posting those pics for a while.
ha!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rach’s last blog post..make it fair
My daughter actually keeps track of how often I mention her in my blog, to make sure everything is EQUAL.
(and I’ve caught myself calling them their blog names in REAL life, which was disconcerting…)
Rebecca’s last blog post..Hi folks!
Love this! Very funny.
Katrina (Callapidder Days)’s last blog post..Center of Attention
Scary is when your adult children have blogs.
Excellent post.
judy’s last blog post..November Yard Work
Hilarious. You had me laughing at Mr. Noodle’s brother Mr. Noodle.
Heth’s last blog post..Mom
Here via Steph…
This is hilarious & probably very accurate!
bee’s last blog post..DARN IT ALL TO HECK!
That is hilarious!!!!
onemotherslove’s last blog post..Upcoming Movie: Golden Compass
I LOVE it!! Laughing, laughing, laughing!! Well written, Mopsy 🙂
Ann’s last blog post..Strength Will Rise
dang it! i emailed you a question and i think i emailed it to the wrong address. i am also searching for a blog post about bullying others into christianity written by one of your commenters and I am having trouble finding it!
email me!pipsersmom@Gmail.com
Rach’s last blog post..life with a colostomy
Scary but hilarious.
I just had a bit of a drive-by comment today wondering if my children would ever forgive me for blogging about them. I responded rather snippily – I should have just left the URL to this post.
bubandpie’s last blog post..The Many Faces of Pie
this is soo soo funny….I needed that laugh today
thank you
it was so funny I put a link back here on my blog so my other mommy friends can read it
allison’s last blog post..Possible Future
So funny!
It makes me want to use fake names for kids someday. We don’t want them living in our basement at age 30, ya know.