My heart gallops as I consider the shiny cylinder in my left hand. Its weight is comfortable in my palm, like a smooth, mottled slate and water-tumbled rock picked up near the banks of an aspen rimmed mountain stream.
I turn it over and over and my eyes follow the spiraling seam which I know from instinct and experience is vulnerable. My fingers tentatively press along this tender underbelly. It could be over soon, if only I can bring myself to be deft and summon a bravery found on snowy Sunday mornings and Christmas-past, when my children’s inquiries and pleas nudge me forward, ever forward. I can do it.
I peel back the shiny paper skin, exposing the modest and unassuming brown shell. The feeble appearance doesn’t lull my senses to sleep. They are charged and poised, like the spoon in my right hand as I remember the words of Jonathan Swift, who said, “He was a bold man that first eat an oyster.”
I inhale and slash the air with deft authority until I feel contact. The cool spoon divides the valiant seam between two printed arrows with smirking ease. The cylinder bursts.
Dough.
Now I can make biscuits.
(I wrote this as part of Scribbit’s Write-Away Contest. The October theme is “Things That Scare Me”—but are cans of refrigerated dough scary enough? I thought I’d post it anyway.)
I thought I was the only one that was nervous whenever I open those cans of biscuits and crescent rolls. I jump almost every time.
Steph
Yes! I can completely relate, it’s like trying to pop a balloon or something. Very well written, Mopsy 🙂
Oh, yes, I jump too!
Mary
PS– biscuits…. now I want biscuits….I haven’t bought those things forever!
LOL! I can’t believe the anxiety and anticipation that are embedded in my nervous system when opening one of those things! Then came the cans that say “expose line to open”. The anticipation is almost worse, when you have peeled back the paper and nothing happens. Ultimately you end up having to poke it with a spoon anyway. Ugh – how can opening a package of biscuits be such a nerve-wracking experience? 🙂
ROTFL!!! I usually throw them on the floor to open them. Seriously. It just freaks me out too much to have them explode in my hand. Eek.
LOL, oh yes I would count it. It is that anticipation of not knowing when it will pop. Have you ever had one pop as you are peeling back that paper? It makes me jump the same as my kids hiding around a corner and yelling boo when I least expect it.
I love this! Make me laugh and I’m yours forever 🙂
And I love popping those guys open.
You are a genius! I am constantly afraid of popping open the biscuit tube. I usually just bang it on the edge of the counter with my eyes closed and my face turned away. I hope you win for this lovely and superbly written piece.
I have horrible can-a-pop-a-phobia, as it’s known around here. I also hated those sit-on-a-balloon games as a kid. I’m not a lover of surprises in the form of loud noises, I guess!
Loved this post!!! 🙂
This is fabulous! Congratulations on winning the contest!!!
Great post! Congratulations on your win.
Robin’s last blog post..TT #34 – 13 Beautiful Sights
This is wonderful! You totally deserve to win the contest! I am so nervous, too every time, even though I know it’s coming! What a talent you have with words!
Sarah @ Real Life’s last blog post..What I Learned From My Toddler
I knew you would win! Congrats!
ice cream’s last blog post..Halloween Toys
I hate that too! It’s almost enough to make me want to make biscuits from scratch…nah! 🙂
Jennifer’s last blog post..Guess that Title and Artist (TT #30 )
When I was a small child, right after the invention of refrigerated biscuits, the local supermarket, actually a Piggly Wiggly, was hit by lightning. All the refrigerated canned biscuits exploded. It was a very small town, so we all went to see the damage the next day. Ever since then, I have always been a little apprehensive about those cans.
Terri’s last blog post..Two Projects Finished!
That was so funny. Well done. Congratulations on winning the contest!
patois’s last blog post..No Good Deed Unpunished: Haiku Friday
Too funny! I’m afraid of those things, too.
Sheila at Dodging Raindrops’s last blog post..Menu plan Monday
Oh, I still jump too.
Congratulations!
Babystepper’s last blog post..Of Socks and Men
Well, I am glad to know there are many of us who are scared of that darn popping tube. Glad you shared this fear… and in such a great way too.
kim’s last blog post..Ghost stories
Aauugghhh! The hairs on the back of my neck are still standing on end. Very amusing and SO well written. I loved it.
Sonja’s last blog post..Scary Dreams…
Perfect! Congrats on the win. Those things scare the life out of me, too. I thought I was the only one . . .
Megan@SortaCrunchy’s last blog post..Bit O’ Crunchy, October 19: Homemade Baby Food
This is a great take on the prompt…I am always afraid to open those tubes, too. Congratulations!
meredith’s last blog post..cheek to cheek
LOL LOL LOL! I am so glad someone else feels this way. LOVED IT!
Mary@notbefore7’s last blog post..Blogging World…Real World