(said most cheerily)
Hi, you’ve reached the Lifenut residence!
Chances are we are home, but we do not want to answer the phone! We don’t want to talk to pollsters, campaigners, volunteers, committee members, earnest college freshmen, hired prisoners, or anyone affiliated with any political candidate or cause.
Your constitutional amendment is confusing and we know that you’ve worded it in such a way that my “no” vote will actually be a “yes” and vice versa. You shameless dirty stinking weasels. Your referendums are boring and petty and that’s why I avoided signing your petition outside the grocery store a year ago—because the last thing we need is to clog up law books and our very state constitution with minutia and personal crusades against liquor stores and black bears. Really, aren’t there more pressing problems to solve?
I don’t want to spend 15 minutes on the phone strongly agreeing, agreeing, somewhat agreeing, somewhat disagreeing, disagreeing, or strongly disagreeing. I don’t want to rate your candidate or cause on a scale of 1 to 10. I don’t want to join your focus group where you pretend to care what I think, while at the same time you try to sway me toward your issue and/or candidate. The free coffee in the biodegradable cup isn’t that enticing.
I don’t want a sign for my yard, a bumper sticker, a button. We try to avoid being the victims of vandalization and personal assault.
Can you count on my support November 4th? Maybe, if you stop filling our mailbox with pamphlets, post cards, frantic letters, and lies. Newsflash, scooter: We don’t read any of the junk mail you send. Not. One. Even from the candidates and causes we feel slightly friendly about. Every time I open the mailbox and see the words Gas Prices! or Higher Taxes! or She Took a PAY RAISE! on a glossy tri-folded flyer, I die a little inside. I may not make it to November.
Dead of infuriation overload.
Sorry we are unavailable at this or any other time! We will see you on November 4th at the polls, where we will proudly cast our ballots knowing we did our best to avoid the moronic circus that you, dear pollster, helped create.
And exit pollers?
Don’t even think about it.
AMEN!
Shelley’s last blog post..I LOVE to make soap!
We live in a “battleground state.” We basically don’t answer our phone until the first Wednesday of November.
Veronica Mitchell’s last blog post..Guest Post from Riley: The Youngest
Seriously.
Heth’s last blog post..I Need Some Serious Proof Reading Help
Here Here!!!
Linda’s last blog post..One Thousand Gifts
Weird.
That’s EXACTLY what my voice mail says. I may also have included the words “annoying vermin.”
Kelly @ Love Well’s last blog post..WFMW: New Recipes
Funny we are watching the debate on tv right now…. We never get phone calls, a few years ago we set up a call intercept with our phone company and it works!
I agree with you completely, it gets so old at this time of year!
Happy Mommy’s last blog post..Sincerely Fro Me To You ~ For the love of hats part 2
Can you come over and record my message too?
Bonnie’s last blog post..Working for The Man
Can I copy this on our machine? 😉
randi’s last blog post..The Recipe Box Swap—Lunchtime Favorites
I’m so conflicted because I want to be involved but those phone calls demotivate me. We hardly ever answer our phone anyway.
Just a few more weeks…
Mary-LUE’s last blog post..Sleeping with Bread: Best Things v. Worst Things
Also in a battleground state (not usually so in MN), we don’t pick up. Though I am tempted to borrow your machine verbiage… 😉
Minnesotamom’s last blog post..Sorry, John McCain?My Vote is Not for You
Amen! Now can you contact each one personally for me?
Joanne’s last blog post..I’ve Lost Something
I’m in Oklahoma. Nobody cares what we think. Yay!
Jenni’s last blog post..White Flag
Oh, I have read two posts and I believe I am an addict already. It’s like “blogging crack!” I usually lurk around for a good long while before commenting, but I had to leave a note and tell you how much I enjoyed what I’ve read so far. I can’t wait until I have a little more time so that I can come back and read, read, read!
Tater Mama’s last blog post..My ADHD Is Alive and Well
Love it! 🙂
kelli’s last blog post..cubs
I LOVE LOVE IT! I recorded parts of it on my phone! This is great!
-Sandy Toes
Sandy Toes’s last blog post..Food and Awards..what could be better???
AMEN and AMEN!! Our phone stopped working, and I didn’t replace it for a week! And even then, I didn’t, my Mom did. And I waited another 2 days to install it.
We live in a bellweather state. We have the distinguised record of correctly picking the President for all but one election since 1904 or something crazy! Needless to say, our numbers are on EVERYONE’S speed dial! I almost had heart failure when I saw a despised candidate’s name show up on my caller id!
Hopefully, we can both get through this next couple of weeks. I won’t answer my phone, if you won’t answer yours’. 😉
Oh, I hear ya!
Lizz @ Yes, and So is My Heart’s last blog post..Eight Months
Should we wait for the beep?
;>)
Great post!!
Melanie’s last blog post..Talk to the hand, ’cause the lapel pin ain’t listenin.’
Amen. It’s a shame that here in KC the protestors etc only have to stay 25 ft yes you read that right 25 feet from the polling place which puts them just outside the door of the church where I go to vote. I hate it that they come at you like you havn’t already made up your mind and if I haven’t I’m sure not going to vote for it because you accosted me outside.
Leave me alone.
Mary’s last blog post..A change in strategy
I have never received a phone call on my second line (which is a fax line), but this month, I am easily getting calls on it at least once or twice every couple of days that are not faxes. I figure it’s all political stuff, since nobody has the number except people who fax stuff to me.
The only joy I get out of that is that it probably does that horrible fax noise at them when they call. 😉
Angie @ Many Little Blessings’s last blog post..Recycling Old Crayons: Fun Art Project
Come to the Chicago area. The pols are so sure of the vote that no one is paying any attention to us.
All of my unsolicited phone calls are soliciting for direct TV and debt consolidation. Don’t need either–without cable and other un-needed stuff, I don’t have any debt besides house, school and cars.
Do you find many people leaving messages after that?
I bet the prisoners do. They’ve got nuthin’ but time.
Clayjack’s last blog post..Woulda, Coulda and Shoulda
Nice.
I don’t even answer our home phone anymore.
Beth – total mom haircut’s last blog post..It’s Wednesday, and I’m Totally Wordless
“I don’t want a sign for my yard, a bumper sticker, a button. We try to avoid being the victims of vandalization and personal assault.”
honestly, one of the funniest things, if not funniest thing I read this week and so true…
how we are just experiencing the SAME EXACT thing 🙂
Awful leaving in Pa right now
Courtney
Mommie Blogs’s last blog post..babies r’ us/ toys r’ us coupon
oops… meant living, maybe I secretly want to leave for a month or so…
Mommie Blogs’s last blog post..babies r’ us/ toys r’ us coupon
YES!!!!!!
Desiree’s last blog post..We have photo lift-off!
Love it!! I was just recently asked by a family member that if I didn’t support her candidate would I please refrain from voting! Sheesh.
Kristin’s last blog post..The Secret Scrolls